Funny Wedding Jokes Stories And Humors

Funny Wedding Stories, Jokes And Wedding Humors

This is a simple collection of funny wedding jokes and stories I found online. So read and enjoy. I hope they can make you smile; and oh, hope this post can make you think a lot before getting married.LOL

Funny Wedding Jokes Stories

Funny Story 1
At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" The other replied, "Yes, I am, I married the wrong man."

Funny Story 2
Three men were at a bar. Two of the men were discussing the control they had over their wives, while the third remained uninterested.

After a short while, the two men turned to the third and asked, "What about you? What kind of control do you have over your wife?" The third man turned to the first two and said, "Well, just the other day I had her on her knees!"

The two men were dumbfounded. "Wow that's incredible! What happened next?" they asked. The third man took a healthy swig of his beer, sighed and grumbled, "Then she started screaming at me to get out from under the bed and fight like a man!"

Funny Story 3
A young couple were married and then embarked on their honeymoon. When they returned, the bride ran to the phone and called her mother, who asked, "How was your honeymoon, dear?" "Oh, mama!" she replied, "The honeymoon was so wonderful and romantic..." But then, suddenly she burst out crying and said "but, mama, as soon as we returned home, he started using the most horrible language... things I'd never heard before! I mean, all these awful 4-letter words! You've got to come get me and take me home. Please mama!"

"Darling, darling," her mother said, "calm down and tell me, what words could be so awful?" And, the daughter cried "please don't make me tell you, mama! I'm so embarrassed - they're just too awful! Just come and get me, please!"

"Oh, darling, you must tell me what has you so upset... tell me these horrible 4-letter words!" Still sobbing, the bride said, "Oh, mama... words like DUST, WASH, IRON, COOK...!"


Funny Story 4
A nagging old woman at a party walked up to a belligerent old man and told him, "If you were my husband I would poison your drink!" To which he replied, "If you were my wife I would drink it!"

Funny Wedding One Liner Jokes

• Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
• Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.
• Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
• A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it because the thief was spending less than his wife did.
• If your wife is shouting at the front door, and your dog is barking at the back door, who do you let in first?
• The dog, of course. At least he'll shut up after you let him in!
• When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife.
• Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. the rest cheat in Europe.
• What's the difference between in-laws and out-laws? Out-laws are wanted! In-laws, you think of it!
• Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence (a life sentence!).
• Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore,marriage is an institution for the blind.
• Marriage certificate is just another word for a work permit.
• They say when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it is love; after marriage, it is self-defense.
• There was this lover who said that he would go through hell for her. They got married, and now he is going through HELL.

Additional Timeless Wedding Humor

Marriage requires a man to prepare 4 types of "RINGS" :
* The Engagement Ring
* The Wedding Ring
* The Suffe-Ring
* The Endu-Ring

Married life is full of excitement and frustration:
* In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.
* In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.
* In the third year, they BOTH speak and the NEIGHBORS
listen.

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